Monday, May 4, 2009

This is how you tell someone to fuck off

"Dear Nahri,

I hope this finds you well.

We would like to thank you for your effort to attend the interview. We have reviewed your qualifications, competencies and interest and though we find you impressive but it does not match our current needs. However, we see a potential in you for policy related opportunities. Your file is kept in KIV status and should there be suitable openings, we will contact you.

We wish you good luck in your future endeavors.

Thank you for your kind interest in WWF-Malaysia once again."

Fucking panda shaggers...and your fucking grammar sucks too you fuckwits!

Anyway some back story to this.

The day after I had the interview with Syed from Media Bond I had a first round interview with WWF Malaysia for a 'Communications Officer for  Protected Area's' position. Now reading through the initial forms they'd sent for me to fill up before the interview I got the sense that these people might be a bit too tree hugger'ish for their own good, and the way Earth Hour had been wankered off matched anything the GLC's of my previous experiences could pull off when it comes to lost opportunities.

Still, it was the WWF...which was one of several non-profits that I've actually been hoping to try my luck with for quite some time now. Getting into the interview I have to say that I wasn't really impressed by how it was being run, nor was I prepared to have to write a 1000 word essay in half an hour... (an essay?Come on?! Who writes essay's in the course of running a project?!Ask us to write a press release or even a fricking article you cunts!) Needless to say, my 'essay' turned into a rant on how I thought the WWF needed to rein in her objectives to something approaching 'within the realm of possibility' and to stop wasting their time and money on faggoty Yasmin Ahmad commercials starring the ever annoying Pete Teoh!

Anyway after the essay writing a group of us were sat in front of a panel of WWF peeps (one was the GM,another a Comm's Manager, the third the HR lady) aaaaand...can I call it a chat? Should I?...Now I'm all for the informal feel of a chat rather than strict interrogation style interview...but come on your looking to hire somebody? Liven up! Anyway after a series of round-robin questions that sounded somewhat like "So do you know how to use so and so software?...and you?Yes?and you?Yes?And you?No..thats okay it doesnt really matter if you do or dont" I asked the GM a few questions about the direction of the job...what WWF objectives were, where did he see the Comm's strategy going moving forward etc etc...PR 101 stuff... Not entirely productive but I learnt a bit.

Second panel though, had me turned around completely. We met two of the Communications Officers (One was a technical expert on the protected area's the other the outgoing Comms officer) and these two girls really knew their stuff. Learnt a lot about what the day to day duties were expected to be and about the Protected Area's themselves, and simply put, I was sold. Here was the chance to run Comms work for something that actually really deserved to be put out to the world... with the chance to explore some of the remotest area's of Malaysia laid out on the table...and they were trying to say that you didnt have to if you didnt want to like that would have been the preferable option!!

What riles me up the most however is that... I never got to have a one on one session with anyone from WWF...and if that first round session is what they are basing their recruitment choices on I dare say that they really haven't given much thought on who they're hiring, or what they should be expecting from the people that they choose to hire, or even on what an effective communications strategy would do for them for that matter! As a brand they have soo much potential to further enhance their cause! and to do good work for a GOOD cause for a change would have been the mind blowing satisfaction that I've been craving for!

But that's life isn't it? The right things don't happen with the right people at the right time... and then we whine about why nobody gives a fuck about conservation and preservation anymore!

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